Being in a relationship is not all that it’s cracked up to be. They aren’t supposed to be a lot of work although that’s the response one partner gives for wanting to remain in a toxic union. Who wants to work on a relationship and self simultaneously every single day? It’s emotionally draining and changes the way you see a person. If one lacks to see the beauty in small things, forces a person to live in their past, exhibits abusive behaviors, and blames all the wrongs in the world on you, it’s time to stroll the catwalk of life as a single chica. It takes a lot of guts to share your unhappiness while in an established relationship especially when the desire to create a certain life isn’t agreed upon.
Don’t despair or settle. There are some benefits to being solo and writing a new chapter:
1. You get to be selfish. No thinking about spending time with anyone other than your children, the gym, work, and social events with friends. If you’re exhausted, it’s ok. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for not wanting to talk on the phone all night long or not answering text messages.
2. You’re free to be yourself…every day!! No one is around to remind you of how you used to be especially when you’re working on tweaking a few bad habits. Some people are opposed to change so don’t let them bring you down.
3. You get to be the social butterfly that you’ve always been without someone accusing you of flirting with every thing that breathes. Be around the people who love you and make you a better person. Socialites are social. Enough said!
4. You can get your financial and emotional houses in order without explaining a damn thing to anyone.
5. You can explore all your wildest fantasies without judgment or having to share any of them. If I want to see a movie solo, I can. If I want to take a trip, I will. My bucket list is strictly for me to check off. I am not obligated to have someone join me unless I want to enjoy their company. No one has the right to edit your story. EVER!!
6. You don’t have to explain any adjustments in your career goals, wanting to return to school for your third degree, competing in a fitness competition, or spending time with your kids. Really? You don’t have to invite someone to exercise with you, shop with you, bring them along to visit with your friends, or attend networking events.
7. You don’t have to perform sexual acts when you frankly just don’t want to. If I am not aroused or in the mood, it’s going to be a night with Coronation Street and my comfy pj’s. My libido does not have to match yours and I am ok with that. Plain and simple.
8. Bottom line – you get to nurture yourself, invest in your dreams, live with integrity, and do what you love. No explanation necessary.
Now that’s dripping sexy…