You can do it all but there are times when you’re doing too much simultaneously. If striving to claim the Wonder Woman title is draining you and taking a toll on your health, then perhaps it’s wise to reassess your priorities and tell people ‘no’. Do you find that you’re racing around to accomplish tasks, while maintaining an overloaded calendar? It doesn’t reflect negatively on you if you decline attendance or taking on a project. Is what someone thinks of you more important than your sanity? Ask yourself, “what is truly important to me?” and then design your agenda around the answers. If you don’t make the PTO meeting because it’s pizza night at Whole Foods and you’d rather have a relaxing evening with your children or partner, there is nothing wrong with that and guilt (except for eating the pizza) shouldn’t register. Send the teachers an email, follow-up with the PTO President and Secretary and simply ask for a copy of the minutes. You can review them at your leisure and assist when and IF you can.
Perfection is defined as you see fit. Being a full-time professional, a mother to 3 children, and CEO of my business take up a chunk of my time. After you toss in pseudo chef (or take-out picker upper), fashionable athlete and volunteer, it is enough to drive a person to pop a Xanax. I’m not impressed by a person who exhausts themselves pleasing others and you shouldn’t be either.
Ladies, take the lead from men on this one – disappear for a couple of hours when you need it and don’t bat a false eyelash over it. Men typically defer to women to run the household while they climb the corporate ladder and then when the weekends role around, they relax in front of the tele as if they’ve earned two full days of relaxation. Strike a balance in your life. As mothers, we tend to think we can’t afford to take time away because everything will fall apart and the kids will miss us. After 21 years in the parenting game, what I know for sure is that kids will find something to eat and their enjoyment comes from the simplest of things. Put the apron down and take a step away. Don’t play the martyr. Ask for help. Let your partner know that assistance is needed and duties need to be divided. Existing every day in a state of frenzy is unhealthy and creates toxic energy and resentment. Find an activity that makes you feel alive and do it with no hesitation. For me, it’s dancing – whatever format, whatever song. There’s a joy that comes over me and I let loose.
There is nothing obnoxious about self-preservation. I understand the pressure to lean in and take on the world as an ambitious person but sometimes you have to be wise and just lean back. If only I made the perfect meal, with the perfect table setting, with the perfect outfit on WHILE serving the perfect meal with my perfect children and their perfect manners…do you see the vicious cycle of the perpetual downward spiral? Is it worth it? If you think it is, carry on and dig an early grave. If not, join the rest of us who will do it all, on a modified schedule, with plenty of time to go for a run, attend a few meetings and sip a cup of chai tea latte while enjoying the moment.
Now that’s dripping sexy…