Are you having trouble remaining committed to your cause? Sometimes we don’t have it all together but we keep trying and that’s the important piece we should focus on. Don’t quit before giving yourself enough time to reach the goal so stay dedicated because transformation does and will take time.

Sometimes we need to take a step back and observe for a while. Tap into the creative side and make something happen. Sit in a different place, stand next to a good looking stranger (check for wedding rings before making this move), and strike up a conversation. My daughter is always complaining that I talk to everyone. I do…I find myself chatting it up with folks everywhere and I have met some truly interesting people.

Ask a co-worker to lunch and try a new place. If a solo venture is more your cup of tea, find the latest coffee house and make it an experience. I enjoy pretending I’m in a real city (Houston is a big town) and I find places that I can people watch. Last Saturday, I spent a few hours watching Le Week-end at the River Oaks Theater and strolled next door to the French café pre-show to have a glass of wine. As I sat at my table staring longingly out the window, I pretended West Gray was the Seine and the Avenue des Champs-Élysées and I was immediately transported to the romantic streets of Paris. Life is full of joy no matter what we face or where we are.

Find your red carpet and discover your raison d’être. It doesn’t matter whether people like it or not so feel free to flourish in your creative world.

Now that’s dripping sexy…

You are strong because of your mindset. Don’t ever doubt it.

The weak will try to tear you down with words and they hurt. There are times when the words hurt more than the physical or sexual abuse especially from those you care about. You are resilient and beautiful. Strive to take care of yourself even when you feel the darkness overwhelming you. Whatever vices you have to numb the pain, know they are brief. Who are you kidding?

The food tastes good for a few bites but you feel like shit afterwards. Those glasses of wine are just what you needed after a long day but you’re affected by the brain fog and energy drain. The drugs, whether legal or not, take you on a mental vacation but you have to come back to your every day world at some point. Those clothes look great, the bags are cute, and the shoes make you feel invincible but the debt is a constant reminder of the battles within. Do you fall into one of these categories? All of them?

When they call you pathetic, break out your shield. If you’re told that you are delusional because you won’t meet their unrealistic demands or you refuse to live life as they prescribe, put on your stilettos and stroll in the opposite direction. I recently heard that one should be a bucket filler, not a bucket dipper. Have people walk away from you feeling good about themselves. It was such a simple light bulb phrase.

When one is healing from pain or heartache, sometimes the best thing you can do is stop talking and take action. Get to the gym, go for a run, take a stroll at the museum. Put things on pause and reflect. Getting healthy is part of the recovery journey. If the people who surround you aren’t willing to cheer you on, let them go IMMEDIATELY!

Find the lesson in all that occurs. Learn from it and understand that you are on the way to being your authentic self.

Now that’s dripping sexy…

I have watched my 14-year-old daughter become an emotional eater.

Not a depressed “oh, the world is against me, you don’t understand my teenage blues” kind of eater but the kind that desires the satisfying taste of a juicy cheeseburger and salty fries on her palate followed by a thick milkshake made with Häagen-Dazs. I don’t think I pieced it together until the pediatrician diagnosed her as prediabetic a few weeks ago.

This is hard for me because I am anti-obesity. Now don’t misinterpret this as fat shaming because it isn’t about you. I do see being large as a character flaw; it says you have no self-control. It loudly shouts from the hips and thighs that there is a dis-ease that rests within you and now I’m face to face with this in my personal life. My beautiful mini-me likes to eat and her body is fighting the high levels of blood glucose. Ever since she can recall a memory, she has watched me fast on vegetable juice for days, exercise religiously, and obsess over my size for the sake of fashion. She gets it – this I know for sure because she loves clothes and the art of wearing them. She understands the fit and the fall of layering and the beauty in an outfit effortlessly executed. She has a working knowledge of proper combinations of food and the effects of too many simple carbs.

Her life is not one of disadvantage. She’s been raised on organic foods void of cow’s milk, partially hydrogenated oils and high fructose corn syrup. Since birth, my crew of three have accompanied me to Whole Foods and Central Market. So what happened? Have her standards of health and beauty become too lax due to being enrolled in an all girl’s school rich with cultural diversity? As she learns dance moves that make me cringe and snacks on hot Cheetos, leaving evidence of red stained fingertips, is the need to assimilate so powerful? Lunches used to consist of organic meats, fruits, Greek yogurt, Fiji water bottles and San Pellegrino. Now she craves and attempts to fill my cart with inferior products peddled to the masses. Memo to others – you are not immune to diabetes or other issues just because you spent more for groceries at the premium “healthy” stores.

Over the past two weeks, we have had much dialogue regarding the dangers of her medical results. It’s mind-boggling to me that it hasn’t halted the consumption of foods which send her body into a state of unbalance. When you eat crap, crap happens!! By proxy, she is a member of the fitfam lifestyle. I now need her to keep card-carrying privileges current. A major overhaul has to occur and it’s being met with resistance. I have even dangled a new wardrobe from Lululemon as the inspirational carrot. She wants her own 0-2 size yoga pants (not borrow mine). Exercise, portion control, and a 10-15 pound weight loss are on my agenda of defying science. I want this eradicated from her system – leaving no traces behind.

Heaven help me…this is going to be a journey! When you see us running around Memorial Park, stop and give her a high-five. Offer her a few words of encouragement and join us for a lap.

As we bring the last weekend of 2013 to a close, take some time to think about what it is that you want to manifest this upcoming year.  Let’s engage a different approach – instead of making resolutions, focus on creating a happy life.

Over the past two years, I have neglected many things that brought me joy. Dancing and reading are instant mental vacations for me and I put both on a backburner. There’s nothing like taking the hand of a strong lead and being twirled around the dance floor or curling up for hours, uninterrupted, and getting lost in the pages of a juicy novel. Housed in my gym bag is a book that I’ve been trying to finish for weeks and while sweating on the stairclimber this morning, I managed to resume my doggie-eared page with excitement. As I flipped through Onward by Howard Schultz, CEO of Starbucks, the noise of the mindless chatter and equipment came to a still and my legs were on autopilot. It was serendipity!! Schultz was speaking my language – okay, granted I am not about to open a coffee house or become a barista any time soon but the strategic plans on leadership and reinventing Starbucks was something that could be applied to my lifestyle.

I had to close the book for a while and think about the pillars that have been the blueprint to my success over the years. Physical fitness has kept me youthful and trim but it has also been a source of combating stress. Although I consistently maintain my fitness schedule, I allowed a life draining stress to take a vice grip of my days and remove me from course. I became tired and worn out, almost unable to face each day. The stress greeted me daily and as I closed my eyes each night, it loudly hummed in my ears. It was unbearable. I knew I needed to take a step toward restoration. My life depended on it.

I’m a planner and once something is set in motion, the whip get cracked until the task is complete. There is joy in accomplishments and deliverables, whether for self or others. Have you neglected handling tasks in your life due to a lack of time management? Is your life cluttered? Think of ways that you can remove the debris and clear the path. Tossing out emotional clutter is much harder but it has to be done. Do an assessment and evaluate. Immediately discard anything and anyone that may be preventing you from moving onward.

Are you being nourished by your relationships? I’ve been a loner for as long as I can remember. My mantra was always, ‘there is strength in solitude.’ Perhaps it was by default from having a mother that didn’t hug and refused to demonstrate love…who knows?  Or maybe it’s the result of being thrown out of the house as a young girl one time too many. Unfortunately that was the rocky foundation set and I’ve made my fair share of mistakes. Lately, I’ve been watching Dr. Brene Brown discuss shame, fear and vulnerability. These topics aren’t taught in college and grad school and they certainly aren’t dominant characteristics of alpha people. But I must say, she has given me much to consider as I forge ahead into this new year.  Two quotes resonated with me during one of Dr. Brown’s talks on the Oprah Network. She said, “If we share our shame story with the wrong person, they can easily become one more piece of flying debris in an already dangerous storm,” and “Our stories are not meant for everyone. Hearing them is a privilege, and we should always ask ourselves this before we share: “Who has earned the right to hear my story?” If we have one or two people in our lives who can sit with us and hold space for our shame stories, and love us for our strengths and struggles, we are incredibly lucky. If we have a group of friends, or family who embrace our imperfections, vulnerabilities, and power, and fills us with a sense of belonging, we are incredibly lucky.” Pretty powerful stuff.

Take some time to reflect. The cover of Onward reads,  “How Starbucks Fought for Its Life without Losing Its Soul”. What will you do in 2014 to fight for your life? Stop living in fear and embrace this moment. Your past is inescapable, your future in unavoidable but the present is YOURS!