Once upon a time, in a land not so far away (any boutique nearest you), there were a select few high-end designer bags and shoes that were on my coveted wish list. Unfortunately for the designer and fortunately for my bank account, that has all changed due to the watering down of the so-called luxury item. A luxury used to be something desired by many and obtained by few. Now, it seems to be a moderately expensive product that too many people can acquire. Remember when Louis Vuitton used to be a treat? I have banned my 13-year-old from carrying them any longer. The price point has been set to appeal to such a wide market and there is nothing fashion forward about carrying the LV monogram bag. Do I want to spend $1500 on a pair of Christian Louboutin now that they are featured in rap songs (Trina and Rick Ross kind of ruined it) and on fat legs of so-called A, B and C-list celebrities? Do I want to hand over $10,000 – $20,000 on an ‘it bag’ that everyone carries? They somehow managed to tarnish the Hermes label. While on the quest for all things fashionable, I have enjoyed giving many designers a chance because the care of my feet matter and I am not your average handbag consumer. The majority of the time, celebrities ( je deteste that word) are gifted items to ‘encourage’ you to spend your money. Don’t fall for the manipulative games of those who drive the industry.

On the low-end range, I occasionally like Jessica Simpson shoes and boots because she oversees the production of footwear that caters to the natural shape. Her shoes usually have a round toe, a wedge and a high-heel to enhance the long, lean look. You can throw her shoes on at 8:00 in the morning and last all day. If you have a few more dollars to play with or a benefactor, Charlotte Olympia and Brian Atwood are great choices. In the mid-range price category, Jimmy Choo and Giuseppe Zanotti provide the statement and you can walk in them for quite a few hours. The aforementioned designer, Loubi, usually has a narrow toe-box, whether open or closed, and his shoes force you to feel like you’re a geisha with bound feet…and you end up walking like one too. I have a saying for shoes that are sexy and uncomfortable – “to and from shoes” – to the event; straight from the car. No stops in between and no bathroom breaks. These shoes require your flip-flops to be on standby at all times.

Ugly feet are a social injustice…a travesty… a disservice to those in the nail salon business. There’s nothing more abhorrent than seeing a woman with feet that detail the years of forcing size 9’s into a size 6 shoe. Keep in mind that bunions, hammertoes, corns and other self-inflicted disfigurements can make a face turn sour. You might be a dimepiece but if your feet are jacked up, it’s a deal breaker. This dripping sexy standard applies to both men and women. No one is off the hook here. I have always taken care of my feet; it’s an absolute must. It tells a lot about a woman. Imagine this – you’re dating someone, as I am, who derives sexual pleasure from touching beautiful feet (this only applies to my feet but you get the picture) and you find yourself in the moment when he or she is removing your shoe. Do you want it ruined because of all the years of foot torture? In all likelihood, that scenario would never occur because your feet would have been assessed early on in the relationship. Be observant when you’re out on the town. If you are wearing open toe shoes, people are giving your feet a quick glance. Vanity should not override the sensibilities.

According to Christian Louboutin, “shoes for men are about elegance and wealth, they are not playing with their inner character. That is why women are happy to wear painful shoes.” but he also tosses in, “the core of his work is dedicated not to pleasing women but to pleasing men.” I partially agree with this but a fabulous pair of shoes certainly isn’t worth the subsequent day of pain. The only excuses for tortured-looking feet are if you’re a prima ballerina assoluta or heredity dealt you a bad hand.

You decide but know that the rest of us can tell when your feet hurt. As you’re standing, you shift your balance from leg to leg, you sit and push the shoe off your toes or you simply have a pained expression on your face. I am lucky enough to have great friends who have carried me to the car because my feet were killing me, valet was not available and I couldn’t take another step. Lesson learned!! Stroll the catwalk in shoes that fit!

Now that’s dripping sexy…

I am not much of a golfer. I don’t pretend to be. Yes, I know deals are made on the course but they can also be made in the clubhouse, while sitting in the air condition with a glass of champagne in hand too…right?? RIGHT?? Anyone who know me understands that I don’t do sun. I will coordinate events or decline to attend because of the brutal sun rays. Strictly from a vanity standpoint – why accelerate the aging process? Have you seen skin that has taken a beating from years of being exposed?

When I do play a sport, I am always prepared – fashionably speaking. I may not have mastered the sport, but I do look my very best. Don’t you show up with pearls and 5 inch heels? Name any activity and I’m almost certain I have the right accoutrements (perhaps with the exception of basketball – I refuse to wear anything oversized and sloppy). The goal is to approach all my tasks as prepared as possible. Is it mind over matter? Absolutely! Do I think I have the potential to sink the birdie or make a hole-in-one on a par 3? You bet! Hopefully, if these miracles ever took place, there is someone to document and corroborate the details because I will be telling the story for the rest of my life.

If you find yourself constantly unprepared, why is that? Is it the fear of whatever you’re facing? Is it a lack of self-worth? Search within and get to the core of what prevents you from being a key player. In the work place, are you lacking the necessary skills to propel you into a higher paying position?  Go to school and obtain the necessary tools or ask your boss to assist you. Are you a couch potato and refuse to hit the gym because you don’t resemble the other fitspirations or you’re worried about looking ridiculous as you break a sweat? Get yourself some new fashion forward attire and go after it. I’m pretty sure that I’m the only one who hits the gym at 5 a.m. with red lipcandy or pink glossy lips and cutesy clothes. Why do I have to look like I just rolled out of bed simply because I did?? It’s a mind game. When you look good, it’s empowering. You have a bit of pep in your step and your head is held higher. Apply that principle to everything you do.

Now that’s dripping sexy…

It’s about the fit and the fall. If you have cellulite and huge hips, pants won’t fall at all; they grip and cling to your thighs. If you have stomach rolls and a muffin top, dresses and blouses become tents on you. You are then a walking advertisement for a ‘fashion don’t’. So, you ask yourself, how do I transform into a ‘fashion do’? Think about what I mentioned earlier – it’s the fit and the fall. Commit this to memory. Pay attention to how clothes hit certain places on your body. Tight shirts shouldn’t emphasize fat arms. Aim for feminine, loose tops to accentuate your frame if you’re on the thick side. No matter what size you find yourself on the chart, be mindful of your skirts and where they stop on the leg. If you’re short, the bottom of the skirt should be above or at the knee to give the illusion of height. Even if you have fat knees, it will work BUT only with heels – NO FLIP FLOPS AND NO BALLET FLATS! If you have cankles (translation: fat calves that run into your ankles), avoid the colored heels. These are not your fashion friend. Find a nude shoe, one that complements your skin tone, and stroll the catwalk. Colored heels on fat legs do not work. It’s too choppy and you’ll wind up looking like the fat ballerina hippo.

Men, the rules of being fashion savvy apply to you too. Shirts should have a break in the cuff and not extend past the wrist. If the bottom of the cuff is touching your hand, it is tacky beyond belief. Your suits may not be designed by the demigod Tom Ford, a la James Bond style, but that is no excuse for you to resemble Steve Harvey or some of these athletes who have no fashion sense whatsoever. Try on the shirt prior to leaving the store. Have your pants tailored and look at where it breaks on the shoe. Find a style of jacket that works for you – single or double-breasted and make sure it fits! If you are accessorizing, please keep it to a minimum. Flashy does not look fab. You are not posing for a Versace ad! Wear a nice watch, with the appropriate number of links (it shouldn’t dangle), one ring – not on the pinky (you are not a hustler) and no bracelets. For the record, according to the Dripping Sexy standard (yes, there is such a standard), men wearing bracelets is a grand faux pas! However, men, if you find it absolutely impossible to resist the urge to wear a bracelet, keep your David Yurman and John Hardy (imitations are never acceptable) to weekend or evening wear. I find it necessary to ask and not rhetorically either, so if anyone can provide an answer please do so. Men, why do you strategically position your watch, just so, on the OUTSIDE of the already too long shirt and suit sleeve? It’s as though you think someone is impressed by your watch. Sweetie, we are not…especially if it’s a Fossil!! It’s gaudy. Find a nice leather belt and stylish shoes. Shine them and keep them suitable for the occasion. Slip on shoes don’t work all the time. A nice lace up might push you fashion forward. Pay attention to your cuff links – low key works best here too. Your tie knot should make me think of Daniel Craig but only when he’s in James Bond mode. Also, pay attention to the quality of your tie, whether traditional or bow.

We size one another up the minute an entrance is made. Ladies, be the arm candy that your man desires. If you don’t pull it together, he will find eye candy to fill your role while you’re home with les enfants. Men, all of the above mentioned items truly do make the man. In addition to having a man look dashing in his suit, it helps if he exudes confidence. Arrogance and cockiness – save it for the lady with the Steve Madden shoes. Name dropping and leaving your Mercedes, BMW or Range Rover key chain out so we can see how much debt you’re in…also not sexy. Save it for the girls who find athletes attractive simply because they play a high dollar sport but can’t pull together a cogent thought especially in front of the camera. Be humble. Be tasteful. Always be a gentlemen. We do pay attention.

Now that’s dripping sexy…

Men truly get the raw end of the stick when dating or pursuing a good-looking woman. I’m not referring to the woman who’s moderately attractive. I’m talking about the babe that makes heads turn and women side-glance with the evil eye – the woman who walks into a room and without uttering one word, says ‘bow down bitches’. Most women who fall in this category are keenly aware of the power they possess. Men directly or indirectly pay for it – whether it’s the constant reminder that we chose them or they pay out-of-pocket to maintain our attention. The courting phase never seems to end (not that it should) because there is always the lingering threat of being replaced or upgraded. There is evidence that shows a hot woman equals hard work. Why else would a man who has been fortunate enough to be with a hottie choose an average, frumpy woman the next time around? Arnold, Frank, Kobe, Tiger, et al…

A hot woman can drive a man to do many things: work an extra job, get hair plugs, drink and maybe even..not want another hot woman because it’s just too much damn work. Clinton…oops, well, now there are some exceptions to every rule. Let’s not forget that Halle Berry has been through quite a few decent looking men and can’t seem to keep them. Hopefully, she will have better luck with this baby daddy. Most men want someone to listen to them about their hard day. The average lookers tend to stay in their lane and cater to the whims of these men who settle for mediocrity. It’s like a mutual understanding of sorts – listen to me gripe and I will service you and toss in a cheap handbag. Yes, the arm candy is enticing and makes men social scene worthy but does it feed the natural desires that males have deep down? After a while, most men want to nest and create a home where they are crowned King of the Castle. Perhaps the average woman allows this to occur with relative ease because she’s just so giddy to have someone interested. She will gladly prepare the high carb, processed dinner and toss on her Target lingerie with zeal. Although this visual might not feed the carnal hunger that exists within men, the alternative is entirely too taxing so he decides to slide up to table, finish his Hungry Man meal and later turn off the lights (or make it a bit darker) to thank her properly.

It shouldn’t be surprising to find gorgeous single women. Most men find the routine of wining and dining them to be mundane. Let me pause here for a moment to clarify – average looking men typically gravitate toward good-looking women because it fulfills a fantasy of sorts and we make them look good. Men, this only works if you drive a high-end vehicle and live a lifestyle of luxury…or at least fool the women into thinking it isn’t being financed on credit. Handsome, sexy men can usually have the pick of the litter if they are charming. This group of guys want someone who is equally as appealing as they are but again, it’s work.

Women are generally surprised to see who good-looking or wealthy men eventually wind up with. It’s the “how and why did he get with her?’ reaction. Perhaps this is a wake-up call to my fellow hotties. Sound the alarm and blow the shofar!! In this economic climate, men are passing on the hot women and settling for the chubsters and Suzy-homemakers because they are easy. Little drama. Little stress.

Ladies, it’s not fair to treat your partner like a Hebrew slave simply because you possess the power of beauty. The shell fades and ages. Turn down the ego just a notch and take care of home. If his needs are being met, he might just return at the end of the day on time or stop by for lunch.

Now that’s dripping sexy….

“I think dress, hairstyle and make-up are the crucial factors in projecting an attractive persona and give one the chance to enhance one’s best physical features.” ~ Vivienne Westwood

Don’t sleep late on this Sunday and don’t stuff yourself at brunch. Get up. Get moving. Les enfants are still asleep and I am going to do a quick 3 mile run followed by 90 minutes of Bikram Yoga. We are worth the effort and time invested in taking care of our bodies. Find your pockets of joy and remember it’s all about making your life fabulous.

Now that’s dripping sexy…

As a person who takes pride in my levels of fitness and appearance, it’s important to know that when disrobing, I elicit the desired response from my partner. At no point could I be open-minded enough to date or sleep with an overweight person. A friend of mine recently bedded a chubster and I had some serious questions. How could you? What were you thinking? Who were you thinking about? Why on earth would you? Was it pity sex? Were you sick with fever? I understand being attracted to someone who stimulates you through written words and conversation but one can compartmentalize those friendships.

There’s someone for everyone. I say it time and time again and most people tend to stay in their own lane. The pretty people typically partner up unless there is an economic benefit to dating an average or less than average looker. Male or female, if wealth is involved, one doesn’t mind making the sacrifice. As for the unbalanced relationships, how does one not feel uncomfortable when in the public eye? My brave friend was very aware of the stares and was focused on easing the mind of the date. That’s too much work!! Sexual chemistry and energy don’t happen often but when they do, it’s powerful. If you find yourself falling for a decent conversationalist, who’s grossly overweight, would it be terribly rude to ask them to ‘turn down the lights’ or as Eddie Murphy stated in Boomerang, “can you get it just a little darker?”.

I can’t think of a designer who has manufactured lingerie or sexy briefs that mask the largeness. They don’t exist and Spanx does NOT count!! La Perla subtly tells you that if you are larger than a 12-14, this brand is not for you. Agent Provocateur indicates that their “products are designed to make you look and feel fabulous” and note the size guide stops at 10-12. Pay attention to the alerts. Certain designers have pushed the envelope by including plus-size models in ads and runway shows. Who are they kidding? Get to the nearest gym and shed those pounds. If you have to suck in your gut or position yourself in bed to hide any potential spillage, that is a problem.

As for my friend, the intimate encounter was a one-off and the discussions started to steer towards meal reduction and exercise plans. Red flag! Try to find someone who you’re equally yoked with and save yourself the hassle.

Now that’s dripping sexy…

Clothes look better on trim body frames. If you aren’t genetically gifted with a high metabolism, then run, hop, skip and jump to your nearest gym and slim down. In the meantime, take your clothes to the tailor because you should know by now that it’s the fit and the fall. Allow a good tailor to work magic for your wardrobe while you whittle away at the cellulite.

Certain things do NOT work on over-sized bodies. Boyfriend jeans become large pants, skinny jeans…(well, read the previous blog), pencil skirts…(ugh, the name speaks for itself), thongs, bustiers, fitted t-shirts…sacre bleu, I could go on but you get the point. You must dress with your body frame in mind or fix it!

The world is your runway so always be camera ready (and remember the camera adds 10 pounds).

Now that’s dripping sexy…